When I spoke with Debbie Heisler on our Language of the Soul podcast, I was struck by how her own story of unimaginable loss led her to the very work that now helps others heal. Debbie is an author (Faith in the Middle, Whispers of Healing and Hope Grief Journal), a grief coach, and a community advocate who has transformed deep personal pain into a source of connection and hope for others.
Her story is tragic—her son was murdered in a custody dispute—but what stood out to me wasn’t just the loss itself. It was what she chose to do with it: write, advocate, and hold space for others. That’s the thing about story—it allows us to process trauma from both the inside and the outside. Whether it’s a journal entry written in the quiet hours of the morning or a published memoir, putting words to pain often reveals insights we didn’t know we were carrying.
As a counseling student, I couldn’t help but notice how Debbie’s process parallels what we know in narrative therapy: we are the authors of our lives, and how we tell our story affects how we heal. Trauma, as Bessel van der Kolk notes in The Body Keeps the Score, is not just in our minds; it lives in our bodies. By writing her book and creating a grief journal for others, Debbie gave herself and others a way to release what their bodies had been holding onto—fear, pain, guilt, anger—while discovering threads of resilience they might have missed otherwise.
Grief doesn’t always come from death. It shows up in job loss, estranged family relationships, moving away from a home you’ve always known, or even losing a dream. Debbie and I talked about how society still struggles to support people grieving anything outside of those “traditional” losses. Too often, we downplay grief or expect people to “get over it” on a timeline. The truth is, grief isn’t something we get over—it’s something we grow around.
That’s why I loved hearing how Debbie incorporates creative outlets like watercolor journaling into her grief groups. Creativity helps us bypass the logical, judgmental part of our brains and access what’s locked deep inside. And in that process—whether through painting, writing, or storytelling—grief loosens its grip, even just a little.
For me, one of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was the importance of vulnerability. It’s hard to be raw and honest about how much something hurts, especially in a world that still looks away when people cry or rage or simply can’t “function” at their usual level. But as Debbie shared, grief changes the mechanics of life—you have to relearn how to sit, stand, breathe, and exist without the person or dream you’ve lost. Breaking that process into small, intentional steps and giving yourself permission to feel it all is where healing begins.
If you’ve ever experienced grief—and we all have, in some form—I think this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Debbie’s compassion, wisdom, and hard-won insights offer practical ways to honor loss while still moving toward self-love and connection.
Take a moment, give yourself space to breathe, and listen to this powerful conversation. You might just find that her story opens a door to your own healing journey.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: Language of the Soul Podcast
